Proper Care and Handling of Food

While working at a local mexican restaurant I had a friend who was preparing some deep-fried ice cream. I'm not sure which mexican thought up this culinary masterpiece, but they should have a holiday names after them.

The ice cream came prepared in large scoops rolled in secret ingredients. The only step for the server was to stab the ice cream with a knife and dip it briefly into a vat of magma hot oil...making it deep-fried.

My friend had speared the ice cream and dipped the ice cream, but being engaged in an interesting conversation, she bypassed the usually 2 second dip time for a lengthy 10 second bath.

The ice cream slipped off the knife, bobbing in the hot oil. Most people would say last rites and let the ice cream go. My friend, however, did not. She bravely reached in and grabbed the ice cream.

Sadly, she had to go to the hospital and the ice cream died anyway, but it was very noble of her to try.

According to a statistic I just made up, trillions of people each day get the runs from not properly washing their food, or otherwise making sure that all of the bacteria and germs get killed. This is one of the primary reasons that Hungry Man TV Dinners and Soda Pop are so good—they come already sealed so that you know there are no germs.

So what do you do if you can’t purchase safe food? Oddly enough, one of the only places in the world to have the solution to this problem is the southern United States—you must deep fry EVERYTHING!

How can you deep fry everything, you ask?

Luckily, online you can find ways to deep from everything from pickles, snickers bars and even Coca Cola. These are already healthy treats, so to be able to deep fry the hell out of all the germs and bacteria makes them all the more safe for your consumption.

So next time you cook make sure to deep fry each of your food items to properly kill the germs. And if you don't have soap to wash your hands, feel free to deep fry them as well.